Tuesday, March 06, 2007

24, or 12: the halfway point

Season 6, 5:00-6:00 pm

Worst episode ever. Here's my take, in the words of some of the characters who were actually there, but didn't have a chance to say what they really thought:

Secret Service in White House Bunker:
First Agent: Dude, a bomb! Almost blowed-up the Prez!
Second Agent: Well, that's what happens when we bring a known terrorist in to meet with the president in the most secure and super-secret place we could possibly imagine.
First Agent: You really think he did it?
Second Agent: Nah, but I got a wife, kids, and a pension to think about. I mean it's MY ASS.
First Agent: Somebody else must have smuggled it in, I guess. We gotta talk to somebody at the metal detector. I mean it's EVERY TIME with those guys!

Conspiracy in EVEN MORE super secret pipe room:
Bad Guy: You think he'll talk?
Ex-Mrs. Hillary Swank: Nahhhh.

Russian Embassy, exterior:
Jack: Funny, but my Russian is still fluent. I may have lost that slight Ukraininan accent I worked on, but hey, it's been 18 months since I even spoke ENGLISH! Don't make me choke you!

Russian Embassy, interior:
Markov: You know, it's really great to be here in the US of A, in this sunny state of California, where I don't have to work too hard or wait in the bread lines or ration my fuel... But I think we should destroy these filthy capitalist pigs and teach them a lesson!
Soon-to-be-deceased Russian guy: A lesson in what? Why should we make trouble?
Markov: I don't know I guess... Just to shake things up, maybe? I mean, wouldn't it be nice to just go back to the motherland and poison some MF's for the KGB now and again?
Soon-to-be-deceased Russian guy: Da.

Russian Embassy, interior, later on:
Soon-to-be-deceased Russian guy: Jack Bauer just told me something werry, werry important. Now I'm the ONLY ONE who can stop Marko. I have a funny feeling about this...

CTU Los Angeles:
Morris: There's no way ever that we could ever monitor anything coming or going from that embassy. Oh, wait...

Washington, DC airport:
Karen Hayes-Buchanan: Hi Bill, I'm in the Worldperks lounge at the airport. Yeah, another Northwest delay. What do you mean "should have called 5 hours ago"?!

Back in the White House Bunker:
President Palmer: Ouch. How could you let this happen? Are you the head of my Secret Service or NOT??
Secret Service Agent: No, but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night!



3 comments:

Aaron said...

Great. I haven't seen it yet. Thanks for the spoilers, asshole.

Seamus said...

Warning: spoilers behind...

tarryn said...

hahahah

hiliarious!!!!!!!!!!!

where can we get pics of karen and bill-together!!!!!!!!!!